Fear and Money
By Salmah Harharah
Fear has a way of disabling our sense of control. It makes us feel powerless and limits our options to just fight or flight. Financially, when we fear money, it is a reflection of how powerless and limited we feel about our life in general. We then attach this feeling to money, as we would with other aspects of our lives such as relationships and career.
As a child, I felt like I didn’t have much control over the constant disharmony that was present in my family, especially went it came to finances. The adults were always arguing over money even though we always had more than enough. I learnt that money makes people fight and hate each other, and the more money they had the more there was reason to fight over it.
And so, in my adult life, I unconsciously feared money and the accumulation of it because all I ever wanted was a harmonious and peaceful family life. But then I realised that the less money I had, the less choices and options I had as well. As a housewife, I didn’t have much of my own money and even though my husband provided well, every expenditure had to go through him. This reality hit me hard, so I did try some online businesses of my own, but my unconscious fear of money somehow prevented me from growing my earnings. I did make money, but I found myself spending it just as fast.
It was only when I turned 38 years old that I began to dig deeper over my lack of control and faced my fears. I also had encountered many genuinely happy families that were well to do, and their money allowed them to pursue enriching and wholesome family bonding experiences like going for yearly holidays together. I met women who led empowered lives because they were financially secure and successful. I wanted all these things for myself! And so, I realised that I had to face my fears about money head on to be able to lead the life I wanted for myself.
In the next few articles, I will explain in detail the secrets of how I faced my fears and freed myself from its grip as below:
1. Take responsibility. Take control. Take action.
2. Educate yourself through various avenues, e.g. internet, people, seminars, etc.
3. Establish meaningful long-term goals to stay motivated.
4. Strategize and plan intelligently.